Princess Kate's brother opens up on heartbreaking personal breakdown and how his dog saved his life
James saw Ella's "gentle eyes looking back up at me"
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James Middleton, the Princess of Wales's brother, has revealed how his beloved dog Ella saved him from taking his own life during a severe depressive episode in 2017.
In one excerpt from his forthcoming memoir "Meet Ella", published in the Mail, James recounts a harrowing night when he contemplated suicide.
The 37-year-old entrepreneur describes how, at 2am on a November night, he felt life was "no longer worth living".
Unable to sleep or eat, Middleton found himself on the roof of his flat, considering jumping.
James recounts a harrowing night when he contemplated suicide
PA
"Dark thoughts crowd in on me. What can I do to make them stop? I think about jumping from the rooftop," he writes in the extract.
But it was the presence of his Cocker Spaniel, Ella, which ultimately prevented Middleton from taking his life.
Looking down through the skylight, he saw Ella's "gentle eyes looking back up at me".
"Her brown eyes are still staring intently at me, soulful and pleading, and as my gaze locks on hers again, my brain quietens," Middleton writes.
MORE ON THE MIDDLETONS:
The 37-year-old entrepreneur describes how he felt life was "no longer worth living" that night
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The thought of what would happen to Ella if he died became the turning point. He realised he couldn't leave her alone.
"She is the reason I do not take that fatal leap. She is Ella, the dog who saved my life," Middleton concludes in the extract.
Middleton first opened up about his mental health struggles in 2019, describing depression as a "cancer of the mind".
As an ambassador for the Pets as Therapy charity, he has previously written in The Telegraph about the positive impact of his dogs, stating: "Forcing myself to go out with them quickly makes me forget my struggles."
It was one of his black Cocker Spaniels, Ella, who saved James
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James has also revealed how Ella's calming presence helped him through rehearsals for his high-stakes reading at his sister's wedding to Prince William in 2011.
In the days leading up to his crisis in 2017, Middleton isolated himself, writing: "I hide behind a double-locked door, unreachable." He described feeling suffocated and reluctant to face late-night revellers on the street.
His memoir sheds new light on his mental health journey - as well as the crucial role his dog played in his recovery. The book is set to offer a personal account of his struggles with depression - and the healing power of canine companionship.
As a mental health awareness advocate, Middleton's story highlights the oft-overlooked impact pets can have on their owners' wellbeing.
Anyone who is in emotional distress, struggling to cope or at risk of suicide can call the Samaritans anonymously for free from a UK phone on 116 123 or go to samaritans.org.