James Middleton reveals he contemplated taking his own life as he battled with suicidal thoughts
James Middleton poses for a photograph with his dogs Inka, Luna, Ella and Mabel
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James Middleton has recalled the moment he decided not to jump off his roof after seeing his beloved pet dog, Ella.
The younger brother of Princess Catherine has shared how Ella helped him survive his darkest moments, including a night in 2017 when he nearly succumbed to his suicidal thoughts.
In his new book, Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life, the 37-year-old said his beloved late dog was by his side during life’s pivotal events.
This includes his sister’s royal wedding to Prince William in 2011 and Christmases with the late Queen Elizabeth.
James Middleton at Goodwoof 2024
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Writing in the book about the day he stood on his roof, he said: "I glance down the ladder again. Ella has not moved. Her brown eyes are still staring intently at me, soulful and pleading, and as my gaze locks on hers again, my brain quiets. In that instant, I know I will not jump.
"What would happen to Ella if I died? How long would she wait alone in the flat for someone to find her? I have loved her with every bit of my being since she was a tiny, sightless newborn pup.
"She has been my companion, my hope, my support through my darkest days. She has loved me unconditionally, faithfully. At night, when sleep eludes me, she is there on the bed beside me, willing me through the bleak pre-dawn hours.
"Even when I have not felt the labour of living is worth the effort, I take her for walks and feed her. She gives me purpose, a reason to be. How can I contemplate leaving her now? What would she do without me?"
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James Middleton poses for a photograph with his dogs Inka, Luna, Ella and Mabel
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Recalling the Royals interaction with Ella, he wrote Elizabeth II, a dog lover herself, was also a fan of Ella and would grant her special privileges when they stayed at Sandringham.
He wrote: "Her Majesty was always concerned about their wellbeing, and knowing the special place Ella held in my heart, allowed her special privileges. Did you get my message, James?’ she asked me the first time I visited. 'Ella is welcome to stay in your room.'"
He told the story of how Ella once escaped from his room and was later found in the kitchen with the royal chef rubbing the dog’s belly. He said he had hoped the late Queen would not find out about his dog’s excursion into the Sandringham kitchens.
He added: "But nothing escaped her...She said to me, 'I hear Ella had a nice little wander round earlier.' I apologised profusely, expecting a gentle telling-off. Instead, with the understanding that comes from long association with dogs, she gave me a conspiratorial smile and said, 'Well, dogs will be dogs.'"
Ella who died following a short illness in 2023.
Anyone who is in emotional distress, struggling to cope or at risk of suicide can call the Samaritans anonymously for free from a UK phone on 116 123 or go to samaritans.org.
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