Name the play: "Romeo. Romeo, where art thou, Romeo?" - Romeo and Juliet. Very good. How about this one: "If music be the food of love, play on; give me excess of it, that surfeiting the appetite may sicken, and so die." - Twelfth Night, very good.
All right, how about this one, final one: "This was the noblest Roman of them all" - Julius Caesar, correct.
They are great works from the man himself, William Shakespeare. A phenomena around the world. The only problem is he's a white male - time for decolonisation, my friend. Shock, horror.
Englishman who's a white male writes about English. Experience becomes a global learning tool for over 500 years, then gets cancelled by snowflakes - instead of celebrating a world renowned global British sensation, an icon who has ignited the flames of passion in scholars of English literature around the world from beyond the grave.
Nana Akua wades into the debate over whether Shakespeare was a white supremacist
GB News
Instead of celebrating the birthplace of this legend, the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust in Stratford upon Avon have warned that the playwright could be seen as a symbol of British cultural superiority, and his birthplace should be decolonised because of fears of white supremacy. For God's sake, is nothing sacred?
The trust owns buildings linked to him in his hometown of Stratford upon Avon. I visited it when I was very young, and it owns archive material, including parish records of his birth and baptism. But it is now decolonising its vast collection to create a more inclusive museum experience.
This includes exploring the continued impact of Empire on the collection, the impact of colonisation on world history, and how Shakespeare's work has played a part in this. What in God's name does that actually mean? It's ridiculous.
Basically, he was a white man writing stories about the time, and his excellent prose has been recognised for its brilliance that it the complete works of Shakespeare is a classic for people of all creeds and colours. What's wrong with people?
Look, here's my message to the trust - who I suspect are all white. Correct me if I'm wrong, it's easy to look back at things out of context and complain about racism. But the truth is, I would argue that if all you can see is his skin colour, ignoring the period that he wrote in and his environment at the time, ignoring the incredible positive impact his work has had on communities the world over.
For people of all skin colours, then the racism lies within you. Because frankly, I don't see it and I didn't see it when I was learning about it. And right now the only people creating it and enforcing it are you.
He just helped me learn English, and I thank him for giving me the passion to become a writer and a journalist. Shakespeare was a hero who helped make English the most spoken language around the world, something that we have all benefited from. Why would anyone want to try to rewrite and reinterpret that legacy?
This is not the first time that Shakespeare has come under attack. Previously, the Arts and Humanities Research Council has said the "disproportionate representation of the playwright has propagated benefits the ideology of white European supremacy, colonial inculcation, and the use of Shakespeare as a symbol of British cultural superiority and Anglo cultural supremacy.
"White, Anglo centric, Eurocentric and increasingly West centric worldviews that continue to do harm in the world today."
What the hell does that even mean? A spokesperson from Shakespeare's Birthplace Trust has said: "As part of our ongoing work, we've undertaken a project which explores our collections to ensure that they are accessible as possible."
Okay, okay, here's one for the trust - you want to measure the impact Shakespeare has had on people of all colours and racism? Here's a question. James Earl Jones, Laurence Fishburne, Chiwetel Ejiofor - what do they all have in common? They've all played Othello. They're all black actors. Give your heads are wobble, you numpties! Honestly.