Not for the first time in his life, Prince Andrew needs to get his house in order.
The Mirror newspaper reports that Andrew's crumbling mansion threatens to reignite a fresh row with King Charles after the two royal brothers struck a deal, in which Andrew stayed in this luxurious abode in return for keeping it in good shape.
But like his personal reputation, Prince Andrew's 30 bedroom Royal Lodge is crumbling.
The property, part of the Windsor estate and worth £30million if you don't mind, is reportedly beset with problems including rising damp, cracks in the brickwork and unsightly peeling paintwork. This is hardly befitting the most revered family in the country, if not the world.
Mark Dolan shares his thoughts on Prince Andrew's lodge
GB News
The Mirror report that Andrew has been struggling to meet the £400,000 a year upkeep of Royal Lodge, and whilst the building falls into wrack and ruin, the Queen's former favourite son, who is no favourite with Charles these days, refuses to budge.
Andrew, who is seventh in line to the throne, may God help us, is the world's poshest squatter and this stalemate over his accommodation is a headache for the King and an embarrassment for the country.
But old Randy Andy himself, Prince Andrew, seems impervious to embarrassment, as demonstrated by that toe curling Newsnight interview.
Astonishingly, Andrew has been living it up at this home, this lovely Royal Lodge, for 20 years and signed a 75 year lease on it after agreeing to maintain it and paying a rent of £250 a week. That wouldn't even get you a broom cupboard in London.
Now for his sins, Prince Andrew has to live somewhere. But this vast palace in which he currently resides strikes me as highly inappropriate for a man who has brought such embarrassment and shame on the family, following his profoundly ill-advised friendship with known paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
And the humiliation of writing a check for £12million to draw a line under the Virginia Giuffre scandal, in which he stood accused of relations with a minor, allegations, I should argue and add that he denies.
What can't be denied is that Prince Andrew is a stubborn stain on the Royal Family that no amount of Ariel Automatic will remove.
Stripped of his royal duties and his HRH title, his accommodation should reflect his scaled-back role, which is why Charles's rumoured idea of evicting Andrew from this plush Windsor estate and moving him to Frogmore Cottage strikes me as the right move.
Of course, if he gets sent to Frogmore, he'll be hopping mad, seeing this smaller pad as a demotion too far. Tough luck mate.
Frogmore cottage was previously the home of Harry and Meghan. There should be plenty of space for Prince Andrew, even though he might want to get the venue fumigated and given a deep clean after the toxic Sussexes stint there.
There is another alternative, though. Andrew can stay in the Royal Lodge and rather than use his free time riding horses and driving around the estate in his Range Rover, perhaps he could put a shift in and do a bit of DIY.
He's got plenty of time to give Royal Lodge a bit of a makeover himself. We know this guy has barely done a day's work in his life, but it's not too late to start. The man previously known as Randy Andy, could become Handy Andy. In the end, the palatial Royal Lodge can be renovated, but Prince Andrew himself is beyond repair.
