'Harry and Meghan's double standards have reached a new high,' says Mark Dolan

And whether we like it or not, to a great extent, Harry and Meghan still represent the United Kingdom. A financial crash and four prime ministers in two years, isn't nearly as embarrassing for Britain as this ungodly pair, carting themselves around the world on our behalf, like a posh Thelma and Louise.

Of course if they relinquish their titles, it would be a private trip, but I can think of a few million reasons, why they have decided to remain Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

Meghan Markle - a few years ago a struggling actress who wasn't even the best thing in Suits - and Prince Harry, the world’s least happy millionaire - are to jump on a plane and export their own unique brand of self pity to the good people of South America, some of whom live on a pound a day.

But I'm sure they’d spare a pound or two, to stop the flight.

This is a couple who request privacy, while doing TV interviews, podcasts and books about their innermost lives. They preach about global warming, whilst darting around the world in a private jet.

And their double standards reached a new high this week, with the news that whilst Harry is unwilling to bring his family to the UK for “safety reasons”, they will fly to crime-ridden Colombia, which has one of the highest murder rates in the world.

One positive about the Colombia trip, is that old Harry - as a former self-confessed drug user - will be able to connect with a couple of his old suppliers. I'm sure “Mr. Big” would welcome a royal visit...

But who is Harry to march around Colombia, boring locals to tears about net zero, phone hacking and his terrible life rattling around a 16-bathroom Californian mansion? He'll be in a country where many don't even have an indoor loo at all.

Now controversially, I actually share Harry's concerns about the safety of him and his family.

I think that he, Megan and the kids should have top-level armed Royal protection wherever they go. For me their safety is money no object.

I would pay more taxes to protect them. Why? Because whilst Harry has left the family and has given up his royal duties, it was not his decision to be born the son of the king.

And look what happened to Donald Trump just three weeks ago.

But the Sussexes can't have it both ways. They say they face danger in the UK. But they’ve just come back from Nigeria, which is about as safe as a road trip with Stevie Wonder.

And now they're off to dangerous South America. Well, this couple have been heading south for a while now.

Why don't they do us all a favour? Jump on a plane, and this time, make it a one-way ticket.