Trans priest thought 'God couldn't possibly love me' before near-death experience prompted life in the ministry

"I really felt that there wasn't a place for me in the church," the priest told the BBC.

"In my wildest dreams, I never ever would have imagined that I would have been ordained and become a priest," Rev Golden-Hann said.

"I think I was struggling with a lot of my own demons, and I really felt that God couldn't possibly love me and there couldn't be a place for me within the church."

Prior to joining the ministry, Rev Golden-Hann worked as a stonemason.

But at age 40, the priest's life took a dramatic turn during a severe bout of flu.

"One winter, I got this terrible, terrible flu and I thought I was dying, and I really felt a sense that actually, I've had enough now," Rev Golden-Hann recalled.

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"As I recovered, I realised that I simply can't go on beating myself up like this," she said.

The 58-year-old described the switch from her previous profession as another significant change in her life.

"Working as a stonemason in very many different capacities, but laying those tools aside and coming into ministry - that in itself has been another transition," she said.

The experience marked the beginning of Rev Golden-Hann's renewed relationship with faith.

Originally from Wells in Somerset, the priest had been married with children before transitioning.

"That was the beginning of the healing of my relationship with God," she explained.

"Not being angry with God for being trans, but actually accepting, 'okay, well, that's the way you've made me', so I have to do something about that and I have to live with that reality."

The acceptance led Rev Golden-Hann to pursue a life in the ministry, culminating in her ordination as a priest in July 2023.

The 58-year-old also said her experience in the church since transitioning has been "unremittingly positive".

"In my youth, I really felt as if I was wearing a suit of armour," Rev Golden-Hann said.

"Yet when I was courageous enough to take that suit of armour off, I found that actually people responded with kindness and love when I was willing to put down my own defensive shield.

"Then I was able to hold out my own arms and hug the world and receive the love and the hugs that the world had to offer me."