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Every year we indulge ourselves with a fantastical feast on Christmas Day, eating more than our fill and letting out a huge sigh of relief when we finally loosen that pesky top button.
Yet mere hours after stripping the largest bird possible to squeeze into the oven, we somehow always still find room for a stacked festive cheese board.
Thanks to the perseverance of Rory Stone, Scottish cheese maker at Highland Fine Cheeses, this year’s selection has a new contender and it has the festive power to be naughty or nice.
Minger is a washed rind cheese made with love in the Scottish Highlands.
Its texture and appearance is not dissimilar to brie, but its unique bacteria profile carries a pervasive stench when ripened.
Stone has been attempting to get Minger into supermarkets for quite some time, but despite retail purchasers favourably reviewing the taste of his cheeses, they were not quite so fond of his taste of names.
Alongside Minger, Highland Fine Cheeses produces Fat Cow and Blue Murder, many of which have sold extremely well in independent cheese shops, but supermarket orders were always just out of reach.
Stone told GB News about his first attempt to hit the big time.
"We sent samples to a large supermarket chain south of the border,” he explained.
"They said, ‘you know, we really like the cheese but your names are hideous - they’re crass, they’re obvious and you’re just going for shock [factor]’.
"I thought, well, maybe it is… nope, no no, it’s still a minger!"
Founded by his parents, Stone's business sprung up from a small dairy farm in the 1960s, working from the same building Highland Fine Cheeses operates today in the village of Tain, high in the Scottish Highlands.
Asda and Morrisons both stock the smelly cheese
GB NEWS
Minger cheese is hoping to be a new Christmas favourite
GB NEWS
“My father complained after the war that nobody made crowdie anymore after the industry was nationalised and all the milk had to go into the milk marketing boards,” Stone said.
“My mother for some reason thought she had some sort of a clue how to make crowdie and she took a churn of milk - 10 gallons - and stuck it in the bath to keep it nice and warm.
“It took around four days and she made about 16 pounds of crowdie - which was a bit more than my father wanted - so in accidental beginnings, she wrapped it up in greaseproof paper, put it into the local grocers and it sold.”
Sixty years later, Highland Fine Cheeses produces a wide range of cheeses but recounting the tale of Minger’s humble beginnings bears all the imaginative hallmarks of his mother’s crowdie.
“To start with, we said ‘we’re going to make a really smelly cheese’,” he says.
“We had some sheep’s milk bries, which we’d left at the back of the chill for far, far too long and they had just developed this brevibacterium,” a mould responsible for ripening cheese.
“It was wild,” he said, “I mean, it was over the top and pretty inedible but I thought there was something there that was actually quite exciting.”
Despite supermarkets originally declining to stock Stone's cheese, it was a huge success in independent stores and artisan cheese shops.
Numerous awards later, Minger had its breakthrough moment earlier this year when Asda agreed to stock it regionally on supermarket shelves, followed by Morrisons and a week-long event at Aldi.
No sooner had Stone finished celebrating the moment, calls were coming in from New York, Australia and New Zealand from journalists seeking interviews with the man behind the malodorous Minger.
“It’s been amazing to see the response,” he said.
“I suppose you have to suggest… it’s Christmas, there’s quite a lot of bad news out there and maybe people just want something that’s a little sillier at this time of year.”
The Tain cheese maker describes Minger as having a meaty taste for some, while others find it somewhat sweet, but if left in the fridge too long, then everyone best be prepared for the lingering, cabbagey stench of socks soaked in the sweat of one hundred marathons.
Taking it to the streets of Glasgow, one curious tester said “I wouldn’t call it minging - it’s actually very good”, adding, “I don’t know if I’d introduce it when I brought it out though.”
Another described it as “brie with a little bite”, who also suggested the cheeky name would actually “be a talking point over the Christmas lunch”.
Minger is still on sale at Asda and Morrisons stores this festive season.
If you plan to pick up a pack well in advance of the big day, it’s not too late to add nose plugs to your Christmas wishlist.