Jeremy Clarkson, 64, has poured cold water on any hopes that he may one day write an autobiography due to his poor memory.
Just a few months after admitting his hearing loss "doubled the chance" of developing dementia, Clarkson has claimed his memory is so bad that he'd be unable to carry out the work project.
Clarkson had to purchase a pair of "very snazzy and extremely clever" hearing aids back in November 2023 in order to help his hearing woes.
And he's remained rather quiet on how he's adapted to the new features to cure his "selective deafness" but according to his latest column, it sounds like they've done little to improve his memory.
The latest health admission came as Clarkson was discussing the topic of books when he mused: "I’m told there’s a fourth collection of my Sunday Times Clarkson’s Farm columns coming out in time for Christmas.
"The first was Diddly Squat: A Year on the Farm, then ’Til the Cows Come Home, then Pigs Might Fly. The other thing I get asked is if I will write an autobiography.
Jeremy Clarkson runs Diddly Squat Farm in Oxfordshire with farm manager Kaleb Cooper
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"The answer is no because I can’t remember anything," Clarkson wrote in his Sunday Times column. "My memory is shot.
"I mean, I can remember little snippets from here and there but not enough to write an autobiography."
However, there was someone who Clarkson felt would be an adequate substitute to author their own book.
"Andy Wilman, the executive producer on Top Gear and The Grand Tour, should do one. His memory is phenomenal," Clarkson remarked.
Jeremy Clarkson and Charlie Ireland will return for Clarkson's Farm season 4
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Clarkson first mentioned the risk of memory loss in a column penned 10 months ago where he admitted he'd been dealing with impaired hearing for 12 years.
He took action when he "was told after (his) most recent medical that hearing loss will double the chance of (him) catching dementia".
The Grand Tour host explained: "My brain is having to use a huge amount of computing power trying to fill in the bits of speech it hasn’t been able to hear.”
One thing Clarkson never forgets to do, however, is share his annual A-levels tweet in which he consoles those who may not have achieved what they wanted by gloating about his own success despite poor grades.
This year, Clarkson was keen to quip that despite underwhelming in the classroom, he's about to open the doors to his very own Costwolds pub, The Windmill.
The farm owner also dropped the exciting news that it's preparing to open its doors next weekend, although it's been far from plain sailing to get things up and running.
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As well as some rather dodgy finds on the site and the police being called to the location due to a Charlie Ireland error, Clarkson revealed the price of buying exclusively British produce is proving to be a headache.
The former Top Gear star had pledged to buy British in order to help farmers in the UK who are in need of assistance in combatting cheap imports from abroad.
But Clarkson admitted this was easier said than done, fuming in his latest column for The Sun: "If I take one of my own pigs, slaughter it and butcher it, each one of the resultant sausages will cost me 74p.
"Whereas if I buy imported pig meat, the cost drops to 18p. That’s scandalous."
