BBC loves an anniversary - 60 years of MOTD fronted by the worshipful Gary Lineker - pass me the sick bucket - Peter Bleksley

But this week the national broadcaster plumbed new depths as it celebrated, wait for it, 60 years of their flagship football programme - Match of the Day.

For those of you who are not football fans, please allow me to educate you a little bit about this show. It goes out late on a Saturday night, and is presented by former footballer, Gary Lineker, who, remarkably, is the BBC’s highest paid earner.

He trousers £1.35 million a year for his efforts. I should make a confession at this point. A couple of years ago I had the huge misfortune to spend a day in the company of Mr Lineker.

I’d been hired to take part in an online advertising campaign, which was being filmed in the house of a hugely talented inventor and Youtuber. I had suggested locations where snacks could be hidden, the inventor created the spaces, and Lineker had to find the snacks.

With the money that Mr Lineker has at his disposal, I’m sure that he can afford the most expensive and talented lawyers in the land, so I will have to be very careful with what I say. He’s an idiot.

Match of the Day consists of highlights from whatever Premiership football matches have taken place that day, (Sometimes that can be as few as four), interspersed with what is described as analysis, and other discussions about what viewers have just watched with their own eyes.

This is all brought to you by Lineker and some of his former professional footballer chums, whose snivelling and sycophantic licking of his questionable footwear, together with collective and pathetic attempts at humour, all combine to bring you one the most mind-numbing and nauseating experiences on television today.

I’m a lifelong football supporter, so I watch it. Well, some of it. I record the programme, so that when I eventually get to see it on a Sunday morning, I can concentrate on the actual football action, and fast forward through all the banality and the blandness, which can consist of conversations about whether a particular player is a true number nine, or if he prefers to play as a false number nine. Nope, me neither.

Anyway, back to the anniversary. The BBC felt that they had to mark this landmark achievement from one of their own programmes, by bringing celebratory interviews wrapped up in packages that included what they had decided were significant moments in footballing history.

These segments were delivered to their Breakfast and news programme audiences, whether they liked it or not. The worshipful Mr Lineker featured prominently.

When I say worshipful, what I mean is that he obviously worships himself, as witnessed in his interview, where he lounged back, smiled smugly, and told the brown-nosing interviewer how important the programme, and therefore he, was. Pass me the bucket, quickly.

I’m sure that the back-slapping and self-congratulatory tone will reach unparalleled heights as the show is broadcasted this weekend, so I will take extra care to ensure that I’ve put new batteries into the remote control. I can’t run the risk of actually watching such dross.