Keira Knightley has revealed her complex relationship with show business after "making and breaking" her career while starring in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.
The 39-year-old actress, who shot to fame as Elizabeth Swann in the blockbuster series, explained that the films left her with conflicted feelings about their impact on her life.
"I was seen as s**t because of them, and yet because they did so well I was given the opportunity to do the films that I ended up getting Oscar nominations for," Knightley told The Times.
The actress starred in three Pirates films from 2003 to 2007, beginning when she was just 17 years old.
"They were the most successful films I'll ever be a part of and they were the reason that I was taken down publicly," she added, describing them as "a very confused place in my head."
The actress revealed she has erased much of the public scrutiny from her memory due to trauma.
Knightly starred in the wildly successful Pirates of the Caribbean movies
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"In that classic trauma way I don't remember it," she told the publication. "There's been a complete delete, and then some things will come up and I'll suddenly have a very bodily memory of it because, ultimately, it's public shaming, isn't it?"
At the age of 22, Knightley suffered a mental breakdown and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
The media's intense focus on her appearance included persistent speculation about eating disorders, despite her insistence that she "knew I wasn't" suffering from one.
She recalled being "unbelievably lucky" to have had support from family, friends and "lovely boyfriends" during this challenging period.
Knightly has chosen to step-back from a celebrity lifestyle
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The actress was particularly aware that the press was hoping to capture her at a vulnerable moment, noting that "the money on my head at that point, if you'd got a picture of me drunk, was so huge."
Knightley has firmly ruled out returning to any major film franchises, citing the demanding nature of such productions.
"The hours are insane. It's years of your life, you have no control over where you're filming, how long you're filming, what you're filming," she explained.
Her decision has also been heavily influenced by her role as a mother to two young daughters, Edie, nine, and Delilah, five, who she shares with her husband James Righton.
"I couldn't go job to job [abroad] now. It wouldn't be in any way fair on them, and I wouldn't want to," she insisted.
The actress emphasised her commitment to family life, stating: "I've chosen to have children, I want to bring them up, so I've had to take a major step back."
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS:
Knightly and her musician husband James Righton
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Knightley has become increasingly selective about her roles, particularly avoiding dark themes.
"I keep being offered things about children dying or about mothers dying. Can't do it," she revealed.
The actress is now focusing on "pure entertainment," with her next project being the Netflix spy thriller Black Doves.
The series, set to release on December 5, features Knightley as Webb, a professional spy passing her politician husband's secrets to a shadowy organisation.
